Tag Archives: family

Tough Break, Charlotte

When Charlotte fractured her leg, she got no sympathy from any of us. If she had BROKEN it, we would have given her lots and lots of pity and attention, but a fracture? That didn’t sound anywhere near as dramatic. It was years before any of us realized that a break and a fracture were the same thing. Sorry, Charlotte. You were right, we were wrong, we are the dirtiest things of all.

That Doogie portrait actually exists, guys.(click to enlarge)

"Wanna sign my cast? I broke my leg!"

"No, you didn't" "Um, what?"

"I heard Dad say your leg was fractured"

Well, I don't know what 'fractured' means but look-- I have crutches. I have a cast. I HAVE a broken leg!"

"It's just a fractured leg"

"It's broken. I HAVE A CAST. Are you gonna sign it or NOT?!"

"Sure."

Sticks and stones may break your bones but your leg is only fractured

"Hey, Charlotte! I heard you fractured your leg."

Game Boy

My sisters and I loved Super Mario Land for the Game Boy. It’s a great game. I still sing the dungeon music to myself sometimes when I am in dangerous situations. BUT the game must have been developed by only children who never had to share anything a day in their lives– the game has no save feature. At no point in the game can you save and come back; you have to keep playing until you have beaten the entire game. Mom had little to no interest in video game time paradigms, so she didn’t know that the hour-long turns she allotted us were completely unfair.

Chrissy plays the Gameboy.

Super Chrissy Land

Super Chrissy stomps on her Goomba sisters

Super Chrissy stomps on her Goomba sisters

Super Chrissy admires her destruction

Super Chrissy Land gif

"My turn!"

Chrissy throws the superball at Charlotte.

Chrissy plays the Gameboy.

…and a Happy New Year!

Our family always held a big reunion every New Year’s Day. It was a pot-luck affair and our many extended relatives brought all the favorite family recipes. Some of them were a bit too sophisticated for the oh-so-sensitive stomach of my younger self, to tell you the truth. It took me a long time to develop a taste for spiced, boiled pork, for instance. (Otherwise known as cretons or corton.)

The family heads out to the reunion

"Daddy, I don't feel good..."

"Aww... what's the matter, Nicki? Are you getting carsick?"

"Just think about the yummy food that will be at the party!"

"Mince meat pies... corton..." "Stop..."

"...shrimp dip..."

BARF

"EW! EW! She puked! Ugh, uht... uhht! HORK!"

"Well, this is an auspicious start to the new year..."

House Rule No. 1

Our family had very few, but very firm house rules. Mostly meant to keep the peace, once a rule was pronounced, it was set in stone. We’re all adults now and we STILL obey the house rules every time we visit home. I actually take great pleasure in invoking this rule even at age 30.

"C'mon girls! Let's get a move on! We're late!"

The girls head toward the minivanChrissy and Charlotte reach for the handle at the same time"What are you doing? It's MY turn to ride shotgun!" "No! y last turn didn't count. It was only a 5 minute ride."Ashley, Tess, and Nicki eat popcorn"Well that's too bad for you. Now it's MY TURN." "That's not fair! MOOOOOOM!""THAT'S IT! From now on, seniority rules. The oldest kid in the car gets to ride in the front seat. No more fighting.""WHAT?!"House Rule No. 1: Oldest gets the front seat

 

Halloween Candy Exchange Rate

Every year, we would survey our Halloween spoils and start trading the second we got home. And every year, Dad would laugh at us, confiscate our candy, and then ration it out to us 3 pieces a day… until he reconsidered the dental bills and then just got rid of it all. We really, really loved Halloween anyway.

So we're agreed... Tootsie Rolls, root beer barrels and Smarties are of equal value."Here's the exchange rate so far. Any questions?"

Candy Exchange Rate chart"Yeah. What about Starbursts?"

"I dunno. That's a tricky one. If you get a pink, you're golden. 3 yellows though... you might as well have gotten razor blade apples."

"What should we do with these homemade popcorn balls?" "Toss 'em"

"Poisoned?" "Nah, just gross."

"If that's all then LET THE TRADING COMMENCE!""Heheheh""It's so cute you guys think you actually get to keep all that candy..."

Scream faces for everyone!

 

The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2

This Part 2 of a three-part series. Read the first one here!

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton "Oh, no! Mr. Cotton and his pal Spike are lost at sea! Will Mr. Cotton be forced to eat his dearest and most faithful friend? Or will Poseidon take pity on these two rapscallions?"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton kicks up dust as he zooms away from Barbie's Dream House, having taken her for every penny she was worth"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Waaaaaah! That was my grandmother's feather boa! Give it back, you scoundrel, you thief."

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Oh no! A myserious potion has transformed Mr. Cotton from his usual mild-mannered self to a grusome and toothsome monster! Will the potion wear off before it's too late?!"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Tess, honey, it's bedtime. Put that hamster away now." "Okay Mom. Goodnight!"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Goodnight Mr. Cotton. I love you. You're my best friend"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "My best friend"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Doogie glares"

And now, here are some photos of the real life Mr. Cotton, possibly the best hamster who ever lived or ever shall live. I apologize for the poor quality; these photos were taken by children with a disposable camera.

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton lost at sea"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton on the run"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton is BIG"