5. Are We Out of the Woods Yet

August 3, 2020August 2, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ Leave a comment

Mom, holding a box of winter clothes: Come here, girls! Let's see who fits into what this year!

The girls start pulling clothes from the box.

Charlotte, holding a jacket that fits: Sigh... Another year, another broken zipper.

Ashley holds up a pair of patched overalls

Nicki: Hush! We all wear hand-me-downs, even me. Don't complain.

Charlotte: Yes, but mine are hand-me-downs of hand-me-downs of hand-me-downs of--

Nicki: Okay! We get it.

Ashley holds up an ugly dress: Hey, they aren't ALL hand-me-downs.

Chrissy, wearing one of the ugly matching dresses: Yeah, just be glad Mom doesn't sew ALL our clothes. (Mom sticks her tongue out at the girls in the background.)

Map of the woods behind the house.

The girls play on a frozen pond.

The girls cross a rickety bridge

Nicki: Okay Chrissy, Charlotte... this is your half of the woods today. Don't go past the second creek.

Chrissy: That's not fair! Why can't we come with your guys?

You guys are too little. We're exploring a new section of the woods today. It could be dangerous.

Ashley: We thinks we found a way to the old pumpkin patch!

Nicki gives Ashley a silencing look.

Chrissy and Charlotte watch their sisters walk away.

Chrissy: FINE. I have a better idea. Let's go find Duck Island.

Charlotte: But that's beyond the second creek! Nicki will get mad!

Chrissy: Charlotte. It's not a big deal. Nicki isn't the boss of us. And they're going in the opposite direction anyway. C'mon!

Chrissy and Charlotte drudge through the snow.

They cross the second creek.

They go deeper into the woods

And deeper

And deeper...

A few hours later, Mom is in the kitchen baking cookies. Ashley sits at the kitchen table eating cookies.

Mom, on the phone: Oh my goodness! Yes, yes, of course! I'll be there in 2 minutes!

Mom: Ashley, did you know your sisters were 2 miles away! That was Mrs. Thibeault. She found them crying in her backyard.

Mom puts on her coat. "I cannot believe this. Didn't I ask you girls to keep an eye on your sisters?

Mom sticks a winter hat on the baby. "Didn't I tell you two not to let them wander off??"

Mom: And just where IS Nicki, anyway?

Ashley: Oh, shoot! I totally forgot!

Nicki hangs from a log above an icy river, looking terrified.

Mom: Oh, you girls are in BIG trouble when I get home.

That evening, the girls have been sent to their room. They glare at each other from their beds.

Nicki: I told you to stay in your half of the woods.

Chrissy: Well, it's not fair! Why should we have to do what you say all the time?

Nicki: Because I am the first-born.

Chrissy: THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!

Nicki: It means I am the smartest!

Chrissy: Nuh-uh! First is the worst!

Ashley chimes in: Second is the best!

Charlotte, pointing at Chrissy: Third is the one with the hair chest!

Chrissy: TREASURE chest!

Chrissy, shouting: AND FOURTH IS THE ONE WHO FORGOT TO GET DRESSED!

Nicki, burying her face into her pillow. "UGH!"

Dad appears at the door. "Quiet! I don't want to hear any more talking, shouting, or singing. Just quiet.

The girls looks miserable.

Ashley whispers to her stuffed dog toy: Second is the best!

4. Pirate Life

July 29, 2020July 29, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 4 Comments

The 4 sisters appear as pirates on two opposing ships. Ashley has Chrissy at the plank with a sword to her back. She calls to Nicki: "Surrender your booty or your sister gets it!

Chrissy: I get the treasure?!

Ashley: No, dummy! You get the PLANK!

Chrissy screams as she plummets into the sea.

Meanwhile in the living room... bits of ceiling fall on Mom's head as a loud BAM! sound comes from the floor above.

Nicki: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! My fair Christine!

Nicki dives into the sea.

Another loud BAM. Mom looks up at the ceiling, annoyed.

Nicki swims to Chrissy. Chrissy: But Nicki! What about the treasure?

Nicki puts a lifesaver around Chrissy. Nicki: You are my greatest treasure, you fool!

Charlotte watches from a cannon. Charlotte: How touching! You've finally realized what's most important. Alas, now you must... DIE!"

Charlotte lights a match. "Ready on your mark, Ashley!"

Ashley: Aww, c'mon Charlie... I told you to call me Captain Eagle Eye.

Charlotte: CHARLIE?! Didn't I tell YOU to call me--

Chrissy: Oh, not this again. If they're going to kill us, I hope they hurry up.

Ashley: Well. Let's not keep them waiting, Charlotte.

Charlotte: Aye aye, Eagle-Eye!

BOOM

As Nicki and Chrissy scream, someone clears their throat from off-panel.

Mom looks into the girls' bedroom. Nicki and Chrissy are playing on the floor in a pile of pillows. Ashley and Charlotte are lobbing a pillow at them from atop a bunk bed.

Mom: Stop jumping off the beds! You'll wake the baby!

Mom frowns at the girls from the door.

Mom exits.

Ashley: All clear! Let's get 'em!

Ashley and Charlotte scream aa they plummet into the sea.

A baby's cry fills the air. Chrissy: Uh-oh.

Nicki: I'll go get her!

Chrissy calls after Nicki as she leaves: What? You're abandoning me? What happened to "You are my greatest treasure"??

Ashley and Charlotte move in to attack Chrissy. Chrissy: NICKI, I HOPE YOU GET SCURVY!

3. Angels and Devils

July 27, 2020July 27, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 3 Comments

Dad: Bedtime!

Illustration of toothpaste being squeezed onto a toothbrush.

Chrissy and Charlotte brush their teeth at the bathroom sink. Chrissy eyes Charlotte critically.

Chrissy: You have a lot of freckles.

Charlotte: My teacher told me that every freckle is a mark left by an angel's kiss.

Chrissy examines her face closely in the mirror.

Chrissy examines her face from another angle.

Chrissy frowns at her reflection, noticing no freckles.

Chrissy: Well, that can't be true.

Chrissy returns to brushing her teeth without concern. Charlotte glares at Chrissy.

Illustration of a a blue canary nightlight.

Nicki and Ashley rest in a bunkbed with their eyes closed.

Charlotte sleeps, but Chrissy lies awake in bed.

Chrissy: Do you guys believe in aliens?

Nicki opens one eye. "What."

Chrissy: I heard Mom talking on the phone about people who say they've been abducted by aliens.

"The aliens beam a light through your window at night when you\re sleeping and it sucks you up. (Illustration of alien peering into the girls' bedroom window.)

"They take you into their spaceship and do experiments on you." (Illustration of Charlotte, Nicki and Ashley huddled together on a spaceship with an alien, who is pointing a glowing stick at them)

"When you wake up the next morning, you can't remember exactly what happened. But you have a weird scar..." (Illsutration of Charlotte in bed, frowning at her forearm.)

"It looks like a duck wearing a little top hat."

Chrissy: But I don't believe it. Goodnight, guys!

Nicki, Ashley, and Charlotte stare wide-eyed in bed. Chrissy smiles dreamily with her eyes closed.

2. The Littlest Sister

July 20, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 3 Comments

Caption: Nine months later...

The five sisters sit on the floor playing with the baby.

Nicki to baby Tess: You're so cute Tallulah!

Chrissy to Nicki: You can't just call her whatever name you want.

Nicki: But Tallulah is so much better than Tess!

Charlotte: We should have held a vote.

Ashley: Tess is a good name...

Nicki: But NOT as good as Tallulah.

(Chrissy screams)

Chrissy, pointing to Tess: She bit me! She BIT me!!

Nicki cuddles Tess. Chrissy: UGH! You little bloodsucker. They should have named you TICK.

1. The Beginning of the Middle

July 14, 2020July 14, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 6 Comments

The Quibblest Sister

October 6, 2019 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 8 Comments

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Christmas Lice

December 16, 2016December 16, 2016 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 12 Comments

I apologize in advance if this comic makes you itchy.

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Season’s Greetings, friends!

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