13. Halloween

September 26, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ Leave a comment

The girls are in their costumes, ready to trick-or-treat.

Chrissy: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I am so excited! A girl at school told me our neighborhood has the best candy.

Charlotte: Wew, duyuh no wha a guh ah shuhl tollme?

Chrissy: Huh?

Charlotte removes her plastic vampire teeth.

Charlotte: Do you know what a girl at school told ME?

Ashley: No, what?

Charlotte: Our house is haunted!

The girls look shocked, imitating Ashley's Scream mask.

Chrissy: What exactly did she say?

Charlotte: It's haunted by the ghost of a little boy who lived there a long time ago. The house was vacant for years after he died, but people could sometimes see a shadowy figure looking out the window...

Ashley: How sad!

Chrissy: Oooo, I bet our room used to be his!

Charlotte: Halloween is when it's supposed to be easiest to talk to spirits...

Nicki: Don't be silly. There's no such thing as ghosts.

Some girls: Hey, Nicki, are you ready?

The sisters look shocked again.

Nicki: Yes! I'll be right there!

Nicki: I wasn't sure if they really meant it! ...Um, I'll see you guys later, okay?

Chrissy: What? Since when does she have friends?

Ashley, Chrissy, Charlotte and Tess continue to trick-or-treat.

Charlotte: You know, I don't really feel good... I think I better go home. You guys go on without me.

Chrissy: WHAT?! First Nicki, now you... what is going on tonight!

Chrissy looks suspicious.

Charlotte heads to the house alone.

Charlotte opens the door in the darkened house.

Charlotte steels herself.

Charlotte: Hello? Little ghost? Are you there? Can you hear me?

Charlotte waits.

KNOCK

Charlotte's eyes open wide.

Charlotte: H-h-h-hello?

Loud knocking continues through the hallway.

The knocking seems to be coming from Charlotte and Chrissy's bedroom.

A suspiciously Chrissy-shaped shadow knocks at the window in the bedroom.

Charlotte's hair stands on end.

BAM!

Charlotte: THE GHOST!

Nicki: Oh, sorry Charlotte. I didn't know you were there!

Charlotte turns on the light. Nicki is covered in raw eggs and toilet paper. "Nicki! Oh, no! What happened?"

Nicki: I don't want to talk about it. I just..."

Nicki screams: I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT!

Charlotte stares sadly after Nicki as she leaves.

Chrissy throws open the front door shouting BOO!

Charlotte startles.

Chrissy laughs madly.

12. Greetings from Florida

September 19, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Dad and the girls are in a canoe in a swamp.
Dad: Isn't this fun?

Nicki: Daddy, it's hot.
Charlotte: The bugs keep biting me.

Ashley: My arms are tired.
Chrissy: There is a freaking alligator over there!

Alligator

Dad: Can you believe it's October? Wouldn't we doing this in Massachusetts this time of year, would we?

Ashley: My arms are going to fall off.
Nicki: Daddy, I'm getting a sunburn.
Charlotte: It's so itchy!
Chrissy: It's probably going to eat us all for dinner!

Dad: We ought to send a postcard to our friends back in Mass. "Sunny and warm here in Florida! Wish you were here!" Ha! They'd love that!

A mosquito buzzes in Charlotte's ear.

The girls: "Dear friends, Our father has taken us into a swamp. We might die of exposure. We're losing energy and hope. The mosquitoes are sucking us dry. And we're gonna get eaten by a freakin' alligator."

Dad: "Love, you ol' sun-kissed pals!" They'll love it!

11. Getting Crabby

September 12, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

The girls are inside, playing Boggle in the living room.

SCRITCH

Nicki: Did you hear that?

Chrissy: Shhh! Stop trying to break my concentration.

Nicki: No, I'm serious. It sounds like something's at the door...

The girls all listen.

SCRITCH SCRITCH

Ashley jumps up. "Oh, maybe it's a little lost puppy!"

Chrissy: NO! Don't open it! It's probably a giant cockroach!

Mom: Palmetto bug!

Ashley opens the door, her eyes popping out of her head.

The rest of the girls peek through the doorway behind her.

A large blue land crab sits on the welcome mat, waving its claws aggressively.

The girls slam the door closed.

The girls stand on the couch, screaming.

Mom: What NOW?

The girls point at the front door.

Mom looks annoyed.

Mom opens the front door.

The crab is still there. And the front yard is crawling with more land crabs.

Mom slams the door closed.

Mom takes a deep breath at the doorway.

The girls peer up at Mom.

Chrissy: WELL?

Mom: Take the broom if you're going to go outside.

The girls looks dubious/sad as they realize this is their new Florida life.

7. Heading South

August 16, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Mom turns the radio dial in the car.

Mom starts singing along with the radio

Nicki looks green in the car.

Nicki: Mommy, I don't feel good

Mom: Nicki, please not now! We're not even half a mile away from the house!

Nicki: But I really, reeeeeeeeeeally don't feel good!

Chrissy looks alarmed. Mom: Sweetie, we're only 2 minutes into a 20 hour car ride. You can't do this now!

The car rattles as Nicki barfs. "UUUUUUUUHT!"

Mom clicks the radio off.

Mom on the CB radio: BLUEBIRD TO BIG BIRD; WE'VE GOT A CODE GREEN. REPEAT: CODE GREEN. DO YOU READ ME.

Dad: TEN-FOUR, BLUEBIRD. I HEAR YA LOUD AND CLEAR.

Chrissy looks out the car window. "Sigh. Gioodbye, Massachusetts."

Image of the house in Massachusetts with a 4 rent sign.

Map from Massachusetts house to Florida house.

Closeup of a cockroach on a SOLD sign.

Image of the new house in Florida. Someone is screaming from inside.

4. Pirate Life

July 29, 2020July 29, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 4 Comments

The 4 sisters appear as pirates on two opposing ships. Ashley has Chrissy at the plank with a sword to her back. She calls to Nicki: "Surrender your booty or your sister gets it!

Chrissy: I get the treasure?!

Ashley: No, dummy! You get the PLANK!

Chrissy screams as she plummets into the sea.

Meanwhile in the living room... bits of ceiling fall on Mom's head as a loud BAM! sound comes from the floor above.

Nicki: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! My fair Christine!

Nicki dives into the sea.

Another loud BAM. Mom looks up at the ceiling, annoyed.

Nicki swims to Chrissy. Chrissy: But Nicki! What about the treasure?

Nicki puts a lifesaver around Chrissy. Nicki: You are my greatest treasure, you fool!

Charlotte watches from a cannon. Charlotte: How touching! You've finally realized what's most important. Alas, now you must... DIE!"

Charlotte lights a match. "Ready on your mark, Ashley!"

Ashley: Aww, c'mon Charlie... I told you to call me Captain Eagle Eye.

Charlotte: CHARLIE?! Didn't I tell YOU to call me--

Chrissy: Oh, not this again. If they're going to kill us, I hope they hurry up.

Ashley: Well. Let's not keep them waiting, Charlotte.

Charlotte: Aye aye, Eagle-Eye!

BOOM

As Nicki and Chrissy scream, someone clears their throat from off-panel.

Mom looks into the girls' bedroom. Nicki and Chrissy are playing on the floor in a pile of pillows. Ashley and Charlotte are lobbing a pillow at them from atop a bunk bed.

Mom: Stop jumping off the beds! You'll wake the baby!

Mom frowns at the girls from the door.

Mom exits.

Ashley: All clear! Let's get 'em!

Ashley and Charlotte scream aa they plummet into the sea.

A baby's cry fills the air. Chrissy: Uh-oh.

Nicki: I'll go get her!

Chrissy calls after Nicki as she leaves: What? You're abandoning me? What happened to "You are my greatest treasure"??

Ashley and Charlotte move in to attack Chrissy. Chrissy: NICKI, I HOPE YOU GET SCURVY!

3. Angels and Devils

July 27, 2020July 27, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 3 Comments

Dad: Bedtime!

Illustration of toothpaste being squeezed onto a toothbrush.

Chrissy and Charlotte brush their teeth at the bathroom sink. Chrissy eyes Charlotte critically.

Chrissy: You have a lot of freckles.

Charlotte: My teacher told me that every freckle is a mark left by an angel's kiss.

Chrissy examines her face closely in the mirror.

Chrissy examines her face from another angle.

Chrissy frowns at her reflection, noticing no freckles.

Chrissy: Well, that can't be true.

Chrissy returns to brushing her teeth without concern. Charlotte glares at Chrissy.

Illustration of a a blue canary nightlight.

Nicki and Ashley rest in a bunkbed with their eyes closed.

Charlotte sleeps, but Chrissy lies awake in bed.

Chrissy: Do you guys believe in aliens?

Nicki opens one eye. "What."

Chrissy: I heard Mom talking on the phone about people who say they've been abducted by aliens.

"The aliens beam a light through your window at night when you\re sleeping and it sucks you up. (Illustration of alien peering into the girls' bedroom window.)

"They take you into their spaceship and do experiments on you." (Illustration of Charlotte, Nicki and Ashley huddled together on a spaceship with an alien, who is pointing a glowing stick at them)

"When you wake up the next morning, you can't remember exactly what happened. But you have a weird scar..." (Illsutration of Charlotte in bed, frowning at her forearm.)

"It looks like a duck wearing a little top hat."

Chrissy: But I don't believe it. Goodnight, guys!

Nicki, Ashley, and Charlotte stare wide-eyed in bed. Chrissy smiles dreamily with her eyes closed.

2. The Littlest Sister

July 20, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 3 Comments

Caption: Nine months later...

The five sisters sit on the floor playing with the baby.

Nicki to baby Tess: You're so cute Tallulah!

Chrissy to Nicki: You can't just call her whatever name you want.

Nicki: But Tallulah is so much better than Tess!

Charlotte: We should have held a vote.

Ashley: Tess is a good name...

Nicki: But NOT as good as Tallulah.

(Chrissy screams)

Chrissy, pointing to Tess: She bit me! She BIT me!!

Nicki cuddles Tess. Chrissy: UGH! You little bloodsucker. They should have named you TICK.

%d bloggers like this: