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The Middlest Sister

There are 5 sisters. She's the middlest.

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1. The Beginning of the Middle

comic

15. The Hurricane

October 10, 2020October 10, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 21 Comments

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10. The Brussels Sprouts Stand-off

September 5, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 3 Comments

Mom boils a big pot of brussels sprouts, plates them, then calls everybody to the table.

The girls look with disgust at their plates.

Chrissy: URGH! What is THAT?

Mom: Brussels sprouts! Eat them! They'll make your eyelashes curly. *mom winks*

Charlotte: What does that mean?

Chrissy: Why did she wink?

Ashley: Why would anybody want curly eyelashes?

Dad: You're eating them.

Chrissy: I'm not.

Charlotte: Me neither!

Dad: That's what you think! You're going to stay at this table until you finish them.

Ashley imagines herself with curly eyelashes.

9:00 PM

The girls sit at the table in the dark, poking at their plates.

Chrissy glares at a brussels sprout on her fork.

Nicki: I can't believe they would pull this on a school night!

Nicki: Tomorrow's our first day of school. We've got to be sharp. What if we have to write an essay??

Chrissy rolls her eyes. *GULP!*

Chrissy looks shocked.

Nicki, covering her mouth: Eurgh!

Chrissy: Did you just eat that??

Nicki: Just get it over with. You can't sit here all night.

Chrissy: TRAITOR.

Ashley: She's just nervous. You know how she gets.

11:00PM

Ashley, Chrissy, and Charlotte sit in the dark at the table.

Ashley looks around, then sneaks her sprouts into her boot.

Ashley waves goodbye as she leaves the dining room.

Brussels sprouts squish in Ashley's boots as she walks.

Midnight. Chrissy stares ahead with determination. Charlotte begins to droop.

Charlotte falls head first into her plate, fast asleep.

Dad: Go. To. Bed.

Chrissy begins to sing her victory song.

Dad: Just get to bed.

Chrissy raises her arms in victory.

The dog sniffs at Ashley's smelly boots.

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9. Rest EZ

August 30, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

In Nicki and Ashley's room... Nicki studies the new room setup while Ashley writes in her notebook.

Meanwhile, in Chrissy and Charlotte's room.... Chrissy studies the room setup while Charlotte reads a joke book.

Chrissy: I'm pretty sure their room is bigger than ours.

Nicki: Is this good feng shui? I don't think you're supposed to sleep under a window.

Chrissy: I swear it's at least this much wider.

Nicki: If only the window was a bit more over that way... It just doesn't seem to flow, you know?

Charlotte: Well, do you want to rebunk? We'd have more floor space...

Ashley: Um, not really. Do you want to move the beds again? We could rebunk...

Chrissy: Maybe. But if we do, I get the bottom bunk this time!

Nicki: Sounds good to me! Same as last time?

Charlotte and Ashley: AGREED!

The girls all lean outside their doorways, calling for Dad.

Dad, busy assembling a new bed for the baby: Nope.

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8. Running Away From Our Problems

August 25, 2020August 22, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 1 Comment

Chrissy stands screaming in her new bedroom, unpacked boxes all around her.

Mom: What's the matter?

Chrissy: A sick, disgusting cockroach just ran under that box!

Mom frowns.

Mpm: Don't say "cockroach," sweetie. Say "palmetto bug."

Chrissy pouts.

Mom: Why don't you help me out and move that empty box?

Chrissy lifts the box and screams as 4 cockroaches dash out from under it.

Mom rolls her eyes.

Chrissy runs screaming through the hallway but pauses as she passes a window.

Chrissy looks out the window.

Chrissy is staring at Charlotte, who is walking toward the end of the driveway with the dog and a large black trash bag

Charlotte glares at the Florida wildlife that surrounds her and swats a butterfly away from her face.

Charlotte begins walking down the sidewalk.

Charlotte walks more.

Charlotte approaches the end of the street and a stop sign.

Charlotte looks up at the stop sign, glares at it, then turns away.

Charlotte turns around and begins to walk back home.

Chrissy watches from the doorway as Charlotte walks back home.

Chrissy smirks.

Chrissy: What happened, Charlie-Warlie? I thought you were going back to Massachusetts?

Charlotte: Zip it, Prissy. You know I'm not allowed to cross the street by myself.

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7. Heading South

August 16, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Mom turns the radio dial in the car.

Mom starts singing along with the radio

Nicki looks green in the car.

Nicki: Mommy, I don't feel good

Mom: Nicki, please not now! We're not even half a mile away from the house!

Nicki: But I really, reeeeeeeeeeally don't feel good!

Chrissy looks alarmed. Mom: Sweetie, we're only 2 minutes into a 20 hour car ride. You can't do this now!

The car rattles as Nicki barfs. "UUUUUUUUHT!"

Mom clicks the radio off.

Mom on the CB radio: BLUEBIRD TO BIG BIRD; WE'VE GOT A CODE GREEN. REPEAT: CODE GREEN. DO YOU READ ME.

Dad: TEN-FOUR, BLUEBIRD. I HEAR YA LOUD AND CLEAR.

Chrissy looks out the car window. "Sigh. Gioodbye, Massachusetts."

Image of the house in Massachusetts with a 4 rent sign.

Map from Massachusetts house to Florida house.

Closeup of a cockroach on a SOLD sign.

Image of the new house in Florida. Someone is screaming from inside.

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6. New Everythings

August 10, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 7 Comments

The family sits at the table eating dinner. Mom and Dad look content. The children look astonished.

Chrissy: But WHY are we moving?

Dad: Because I got a new job.

Nicki: ...but why?

Dad: It's a better opportunity

Ashley: but why Florida?

Mom, winking and ruffling Ashley's hair: You'll love it!

Charlotte: But what about.... everything?

Fuzzy collage of memories from living in Massachusetts

Dad: You'll make new everythings.

The girls eat their dinner glumly. Chrissy looks thoughtful and plotting.

Chrissy: The new house will be bigger, right?

Dad: Yup!

Chrissy: So will I get my own room?!

Dad: I'm afraid not. The new house will have 4 bedrooms.

Chrissy does math in her head.

Chrissy: But that's enough! You and Mom will share a room. Then the 2 oldest and the 2 youngest will each share a room; that's fair. And then I get my own!

Dad: Nooooo....

Chrissy: That's not fair! Why does Nicki get her own room? She always gets everything!

Dad: No, not Nicki. The baby will get her own room.

Chrissy: Tess. Tess gets her own room. Are you kidding me?

Dad: Trust me, NO ONE wants to share a room with a baby, least of all me. This move can't come soon enough.

The family returns to their dinner. Chrissy sticks her tongue out at Tess from across the table. Tess blissfully, messily eats her spaghetti.

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5. Are We Out of the Woods Yet

August 3, 2020August 2, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 4 Comments

Mom, holding a box of winter clothes: Come here, girls! Let's see who fits into what this year!

The girls start pulling clothes from the box.

Charlotte, holding a jacket that fits: Sigh... Another year, another broken zipper.

Ashley holds up a pair of patched overalls

Nicki: Hush! We all wear hand-me-downs, even me. Don't complain.

Charlotte: Yes, but mine are hand-me-downs of hand-me-downs of hand-me-downs of--

Nicki: Okay! We get it.

Ashley holds up an ugly dress: Hey, they aren't ALL hand-me-downs.

Chrissy, wearing one of the ugly matching dresses: Yeah, just be glad Mom doesn't sew ALL our clothes. (Mom sticks her tongue out at the girls in the background.)

Map of the woods behind the house.

The girls play on a frozen pond.

The girls cross a rickety bridge

Nicki: Okay Chrissy, Charlotte... this is your half of the woods today. Don't go past the second creek.

Chrissy: That's not fair! Why can't we come with your guys?

You guys are too little. We're exploring a new section of the woods today. It could be dangerous.

Ashley: We thinks we found a way to the old pumpkin patch!

Nicki gives Ashley a silencing look.

Chrissy and Charlotte watch their sisters walk away.

Chrissy: FINE. I have a better idea. Let's go find Duck Island.

Charlotte: But that's beyond the second creek! Nicki will get mad!

Chrissy: Charlotte. It's not a big deal. Nicki isn't the boss of us. And they're going in the opposite direction anyway. C'mon!

Chrissy and Charlotte drudge through the snow.

They cross the second creek.

They go deeper into the woods

And deeper

And deeper...

A few hours later, Mom is in the kitchen baking cookies. Ashley sits at the kitchen table eating cookies.

Mom, on the phone: Oh my goodness! Yes, yes, of course! I'll be there in 2 minutes!

Mom: Ashley, did you know your sisters were 2 miles away! That was Mrs. Thibeault. She found them crying in her backyard.

Mom puts on her coat. "I cannot believe this. Didn't I ask you girls to keep an eye on your sisters?

Mom sticks a winter hat on the baby. "Didn't I tell you two not to let them wander off??"

Mom: And just where IS Nicki, anyway?

Ashley: Oh, shoot! I totally forgot!

Nicki hangs from a log above an icy river, looking terrified.

Mom: Oh, you girls are in BIG trouble when I get home.

That evening, the girls have been sent to their room. They glare at each other from their beds.

Nicki: I told you to stay in your half of the woods.

Chrissy: Well, it's not fair! Why should we have to do what you say all the time?

Nicki: Because I am the first-born.

Chrissy: THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!

Nicki: It means I am the smartest!

Chrissy: Nuh-uh! First is the worst!

Ashley chimes in: Second is the best!

Charlotte, pointing at Chrissy: Third is the one with the hair chest!

Chrissy: TREASURE chest!

Chrissy, shouting: AND FOURTH IS THE ONE WHO FORGOT TO GET DRESSED!

Nicki, burying her face into her pillow. "UGH!"

Dad appears at the door. "Quiet! I don't want to hear any more talking, shouting, or singing. Just quiet.

The girls looks miserable.

Ashley whispers to her stuffed dog toy: Second is the best!

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