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The Middlest Sister

There are 5 sisters. She's the middlest.

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13. Halloween

September 26, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ Leave a comment

The girls are in their costumes, ready to trick-or-treat.

Chrissy: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I am so excited! A girl at school told me our neighborhood has the best candy.

Charlotte: Wew, duyuh no wha a guh ah shuhl tollme?

Chrissy: Huh?

Charlotte removes her plastic vampire teeth.

Charlotte: Do you know what a girl at school told ME?

Ashley: No, what?

Charlotte: Our house is haunted!

The girls look shocked, imitating Ashley's Scream mask.

Chrissy: What exactly did she say?

Charlotte: It's haunted by the ghost of a little boy who lived there a long time ago. The house was vacant for years after he died, but people could sometimes see a shadowy figure looking out the window...

Ashley: How sad!

Chrissy: Oooo, I bet our room used to be his!

Charlotte: Halloween is when it's supposed to be easiest to talk to spirits...

Nicki: Don't be silly. There's no such thing as ghosts.

Some girls: Hey, Nicki, are you ready?

The sisters look shocked again.

Nicki: Yes! I'll be right there!

Nicki: I wasn't sure if they really meant it! ...Um, I'll see you guys later, okay?

Chrissy: What? Since when does she have friends?

Ashley, Chrissy, Charlotte and Tess continue to trick-or-treat.

Charlotte: You know, I don't really feel good... I think I better go home. You guys go on without me.

Chrissy: WHAT?! First Nicki, now you... what is going on tonight!

Chrissy looks suspicious.

Charlotte heads to the house alone.

Charlotte opens the door in the darkened house.

Charlotte steels herself.

Charlotte: Hello? Little ghost? Are you there? Can you hear me?

Charlotte waits.

KNOCK

Charlotte's eyes open wide.

Charlotte: H-h-h-hello?

Loud knocking continues through the hallway.

The knocking seems to be coming from Charlotte and Chrissy's bedroom.

A suspiciously Chrissy-shaped shadow knocks at the window in the bedroom.

Charlotte's hair stands on end.

BAM!

Charlotte: THE GHOST!

Nicki: Oh, sorry Charlotte. I didn't know you were there!

Charlotte turns on the light. Nicki is covered in raw eggs and toilet paper. "Nicki! Oh, no! What happened?"

Nicki: I don't want to talk about it. I just..."

Nicki screams: I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT!

Charlotte stares sadly after Nicki as she leaves.

Chrissy throws open the front door shouting BOO!

Charlotte startles.

Chrissy laughs madly.

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12. Greetings from Florida

September 19, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Dad and the girls are in a canoe in a swamp.
Dad: Isn't this fun?

Nicki: Daddy, it's hot.
Charlotte: The bugs keep biting me.

Ashley: My arms are tired.
Chrissy: There is a freaking alligator over there!

Alligator

Dad: Can you believe it's October? Wouldn't we doing this in Massachusetts this time of year, would we?

Ashley: My arms are going to fall off.
Nicki: Daddy, I'm getting a sunburn.
Charlotte: It's so itchy!
Chrissy: It's probably going to eat us all for dinner!

Dad: We ought to send a postcard to our friends back in Mass. "Sunny and warm here in Florida! Wish you were here!" Ha! They'd love that!

A mosquito buzzes in Charlotte's ear.

The girls: "Dear friends, Our father has taken us into a swamp. We might die of exposure. We're losing energy and hope. The mosquitoes are sucking us dry. And we're gonna get eaten by a freakin' alligator."

Dad: "Love, you ol' sun-kissed pals!" They'll love it!

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11. Getting Crabby

September 12, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

The girls are inside, playing Boggle in the living room.

SCRITCH

Nicki: Did you hear that?

Chrissy: Shhh! Stop trying to break my concentration.

Nicki: No, I'm serious. It sounds like something's at the door...

The girls all listen.

SCRITCH SCRITCH

Ashley jumps up. "Oh, maybe it's a little lost puppy!"

Chrissy: NO! Don't open it! It's probably a giant cockroach!

Mom: Palmetto bug!

Ashley opens the door, her eyes popping out of her head.

The rest of the girls peek through the doorway behind her.

A large blue land crab sits on the welcome mat, waving its claws aggressively.

The girls slam the door closed.

The girls stand on the couch, screaming.

Mom: What NOW?

The girls point at the front door.

Mom looks annoyed.

Mom opens the front door.

The crab is still there. And the front yard is crawling with more land crabs.

Mom slams the door closed.

Mom takes a deep breath at the doorway.

The girls peer up at Mom.

Chrissy: WELL?

Mom: Take the broom if you're going to go outside.

The girls looks dubious/sad as they realize this is their new Florida life.

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10. The Brussels Sprouts Stand-off

September 5, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 3 Comments

Mom boils a big pot of brussels sprouts, plates them, then calls everybody to the table.

The girls look with disgust at their plates.

Chrissy: URGH! What is THAT?

Mom: Brussels sprouts! Eat them! They'll make your eyelashes curly. *mom winks*

Charlotte: What does that mean?

Chrissy: Why did she wink?

Ashley: Why would anybody want curly eyelashes?

Dad: You're eating them.

Chrissy: I'm not.

Charlotte: Me neither!

Dad: That's what you think! You're going to stay at this table until you finish them.

Ashley imagines herself with curly eyelashes.

9:00 PM

The girls sit at the table in the dark, poking at their plates.

Chrissy glares at a brussels sprout on her fork.

Nicki: I can't believe they would pull this on a school night!

Nicki: Tomorrow's our first day of school. We've got to be sharp. What if we have to write an essay??

Chrissy rolls her eyes. *GULP!*

Chrissy looks shocked.

Nicki, covering her mouth: Eurgh!

Chrissy: Did you just eat that??

Nicki: Just get it over with. You can't sit here all night.

Chrissy: TRAITOR.

Ashley: She's just nervous. You know how she gets.

11:00PM

Ashley, Chrissy, and Charlotte sit in the dark at the table.

Ashley looks around, then sneaks her sprouts into her boot.

Ashley waves goodbye as she leaves the dining room.

Brussels sprouts squish in Ashley's boots as she walks.

Midnight. Chrissy stares ahead with determination. Charlotte begins to droop.

Charlotte falls head first into her plate, fast asleep.

Dad: Go. To. Bed.

Chrissy begins to sing her victory song.

Dad: Just get to bed.

Chrissy raises her arms in victory.

The dog sniffs at Ashley's smelly boots.

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8. Running Away From Our Problems

August 25, 2020August 22, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 1 Comment

Chrissy stands screaming in her new bedroom, unpacked boxes all around her.

Mom: What's the matter?

Chrissy: A sick, disgusting cockroach just ran under that box!

Mom frowns.

Mpm: Don't say "cockroach," sweetie. Say "palmetto bug."

Chrissy pouts.

Mom: Why don't you help me out and move that empty box?

Chrissy lifts the box and screams as 4 cockroaches dash out from under it.

Mom rolls her eyes.

Chrissy runs screaming through the hallway but pauses as she passes a window.

Chrissy looks out the window.

Chrissy is staring at Charlotte, who is walking toward the end of the driveway with the dog and a large black trash bag

Charlotte glares at the Florida wildlife that surrounds her and swats a butterfly away from her face.

Charlotte begins walking down the sidewalk.

Charlotte walks more.

Charlotte approaches the end of the street and a stop sign.

Charlotte looks up at the stop sign, glares at it, then turns away.

Charlotte turns around and begins to walk back home.

Chrissy watches from the doorway as Charlotte walks back home.

Chrissy smirks.

Chrissy: What happened, Charlie-Warlie? I thought you were going back to Massachusetts?

Charlotte: Zip it, Prissy. You know I'm not allowed to cross the street by myself.

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7. Heading South

August 16, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Mom turns the radio dial in the car.

Mom starts singing along with the radio

Nicki looks green in the car.

Nicki: Mommy, I don't feel good

Mom: Nicki, please not now! We're not even half a mile away from the house!

Nicki: But I really, reeeeeeeeeeally don't feel good!

Chrissy looks alarmed. Mom: Sweetie, we're only 2 minutes into a 20 hour car ride. You can't do this now!

The car rattles as Nicki barfs. "UUUUUUUUHT!"

Mom clicks the radio off.

Mom on the CB radio: BLUEBIRD TO BIG BIRD; WE'VE GOT A CODE GREEN. REPEAT: CODE GREEN. DO YOU READ ME.

Dad: TEN-FOUR, BLUEBIRD. I HEAR YA LOUD AND CLEAR.

Chrissy looks out the car window. "Sigh. Gioodbye, Massachusetts."

Image of the house in Massachusetts with a 4 rent sign.

Map from Massachusetts house to Florida house.

Closeup of a cockroach on a SOLD sign.

Image of the new house in Florida. Someone is screaming from inside.

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6. New Everythings

August 10, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 7 Comments

The family sits at the table eating dinner. Mom and Dad look content. The children look astonished.

Chrissy: But WHY are we moving?

Dad: Because I got a new job.

Nicki: ...but why?

Dad: It's a better opportunity

Ashley: but why Florida?

Mom, winking and ruffling Ashley's hair: You'll love it!

Charlotte: But what about.... everything?

Fuzzy collage of memories from living in Massachusetts

Dad: You'll make new everythings.

The girls eat their dinner glumly. Chrissy looks thoughtful and plotting.

Chrissy: The new house will be bigger, right?

Dad: Yup!

Chrissy: So will I get my own room?!

Dad: I'm afraid not. The new house will have 4 bedrooms.

Chrissy does math in her head.

Chrissy: But that's enough! You and Mom will share a room. Then the 2 oldest and the 2 youngest will each share a room; that's fair. And then I get my own!

Dad: Nooooo....

Chrissy: That's not fair! Why does Nicki get her own room? She always gets everything!

Dad: No, not Nicki. The baby will get her own room.

Chrissy: Tess. Tess gets her own room. Are you kidding me?

Dad: Trust me, NO ONE wants to share a room with a baby, least of all me. This move can't come soon enough.

The family returns to their dinner. Chrissy sticks her tongue out at Tess from across the table. Tess blissfully, messily eats her spaghetti.

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