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The Middlest Sister

There are 5 sisters. She's the middlest.

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1. The Beginning of the Middle

florida

12. Greetings from Florida

September 19, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Dad and the girls are in a canoe in a swamp.
Dad: Isn't this fun?

Nicki: Daddy, it's hot.
Charlotte: The bugs keep biting me.

Ashley: My arms are tired.
Chrissy: There is a freaking alligator over there!

Alligator

Dad: Can you believe it's October? Wouldn't we doing this in Massachusetts this time of year, would we?

Ashley: My arms are going to fall off.
Nicki: Daddy, I'm getting a sunburn.
Charlotte: It's so itchy!
Chrissy: It's probably going to eat us all for dinner!

Dad: We ought to send a postcard to our friends back in Mass. "Sunny and warm here in Florida! Wish you were here!" Ha! They'd love that!

A mosquito buzzes in Charlotte's ear.

The girls: "Dear friends, Our father has taken us into a swamp. We might die of exposure. We're losing energy and hope. The mosquitoes are sucking us dry. And we're gonna get eaten by a freakin' alligator."

Dad: "Love, you ol' sun-kissed pals!" They'll love it!

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7. Heading South

August 16, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Mom turns the radio dial in the car.

Mom starts singing along with the radio

Nicki looks green in the car.

Nicki: Mommy, I don't feel good

Mom: Nicki, please not now! We're not even half a mile away from the house!

Nicki: But I really, reeeeeeeeeeally don't feel good!

Chrissy looks alarmed. Mom: Sweetie, we're only 2 minutes into a 20 hour car ride. You can't do this now!

The car rattles as Nicki barfs. "UUUUUUUUHT!"

Mom clicks the radio off.

Mom on the CB radio: BLUEBIRD TO BIG BIRD; WE'VE GOT A CODE GREEN. REPEAT: CODE GREEN. DO YOU READ ME.

Dad: TEN-FOUR, BLUEBIRD. I HEAR YA LOUD AND CLEAR.

Chrissy looks out the car window. "Sigh. Gioodbye, Massachusetts."

Image of the house in Massachusetts with a 4 rent sign.

Map from Massachusetts house to Florida house.

Closeup of a cockroach on a SOLD sign.

Image of the new house in Florida. Someone is screaming from inside.

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