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The Middlest Sister

There are 5 sisters. She's the middlest.

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  • 1. The Beginning of the Middle

hamster

The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 3

September 28, 2011October 13, 2014 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 17 Comments

This concludes the story of Mr. Cotton, World’s Greatest Hamster. Part 1 and Part 2

Doogie

Doggie

Doogie shows off his kill

The family exchanges looks of horror

The next morning…

"Mom, Dad!" Mr. Cotton is gone! I can't find him."

"Oh honey." "We have to tell you something. It may be hard for you to hear."

"The first thing you need to know before we begin is, well, Mr. Cotton isn't really gone. He's just in another state of being. And in that state, he can't be with you anymore."

"What? I don't understand..."

"Well, Honey, what we're trying to say is..."

...Mr. Cotton has metamorphosized. You see, like caterpillars, hamsters are just the larval state of a more complex creature."

"So Mr. Cotton is a butterfly?"

"Of course not! Hamsters become pigs. That's where we get "Ham", you see?"

"So, it just isn't practical to keep Mr. Cotton. He's gone to a nice farm where there's plenty of room for him run around."

"I'll miss him, Mom."

"Mr. Cotton will miss you, too."

Saint CottonAnd thus began Tess’s vegetarian phase.

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The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2

September 25, 2011October 13, 2014 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 10 Comments

This Part 2 of a three-part series. Read the first one here!

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton "Oh, no! Mr. Cotton and his pal Spike are lost at sea! Will Mr. Cotton be forced to eat his dearest and most faithful friend? Or will Poseidon take pity on these two rapscallions?"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton kicks up dust as he zooms away from Barbie's Dream House, having taken her for every penny she was worth"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Waaaaaah! That was my grandmother's feather boa! Give it back, you scoundrel, you thief."

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Oh no! A myserious potion has transformed Mr. Cotton from his usual mild-mannered self to a grusome and toothsome monster! Will the potion wear off before it's too late?!"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Tess, honey, it's bedtime. Put that hamster away now." "Okay Mom. Goodnight!"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Goodnight Mr. Cotton. I love you. You're my best friend"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "My best friend"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Doogie glares"

And now, here are some photos of the real life Mr. Cotton, possibly the best hamster who ever lived or ever shall live. I apologize for the poor quality; these photos were taken by children with a disposable camera.

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton lost at sea"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton on the run"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 2 "Mr. Cotton is BIG"

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The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1

September 21, 2011October 13, 2014 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 9 Comments

This is part one of a three-part story arc that I think everyone will agree is a neat and accurate account of the life and times of Mr. Cotton.

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton "Look what I bought with my allowance!" "Awww!" "A hamster? Did Mom say you could buy that?"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1 "It's my money. I'll buy what I want."

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1 "Besides, look how cute he is!"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1 "CHOMP!"

Oh, wait! Or was it…

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1 "PEE"Either way…

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1 "Ewww! I hate that stupid thing!"

The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1 "Mr. Cotton, Tess, and Nicki"


The Middlest Sister: The Life and Times of Mr. Cotton, Part 1 "I will call you MR. COTTON!"

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