The Middlest Sister

12. Greetings from Florida

Dad and the girls are in a canoe in a swamp. Dad: Isn't this fun?
Nicki: Daddy, it's hot. Charlotte: The bugs keep biting me.
Ashley: My arms are tired. Chrissy: There is a freaking alligator over there!
Alligator
Dad: Can you believe it's October? Wouldn't we doing this in Massachusetts this time of year, would we?
Ashley: My arms are going to fall off. Nicki: Daddy, I'm getting a sunburn. Charlotte: It's so itchy! Chrissy: It's probably going to eat us all for dinner!
Dad: We ought to send a postcard to our friends back in Mass. "Sunny and warm here in Florida! Wish you were here!" Ha! They'd love that!
A mosquito buzzes in Charlotte's ear.
The girls: "Dear friends, Our father has taken us into a swamp. We might die of exposure. We're losing energy and hope. The mosquitoes are sucking us dry. And we're gonna get eaten by a freakin' alligator."
Dad: "Love, you ol' sun-kissed pals!" They'll love it!

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Nicole Smeltzer

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Comments

2 responses to “12. Greetings from Florida”

  1. Dawn Marie Avatar
    Dawn Marie

    Hysterical! Hope they got out alive! Giggles.

    Reply
  2. becomingcliche Avatar
    becomingcliche

    I did the same thing at that age. Kids in heat and humidity with a FREAKIN’ ALLIGATOR OVER THERE don’t fare well.

    Reply

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