12. Greetings from Florida

September 19, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer

Dad and the girls are in a canoe in a swamp.
Dad: Isn't this fun?

Nicki: Daddy, it's hot.
Charlotte: The bugs keep biting me.

Ashley: My arms are tired.
Chrissy: There is a freaking alligator over there!

Alligator

Dad: Can you believe it's October? Wouldn't we doing this in Massachusetts this time of year, would we?

Ashley: My arms are going to fall off.
Nicki: Daddy, I'm getting a sunburn.
Charlotte: It's so itchy!
Chrissy: It's probably going to eat us all for dinner!

Dad: We ought to send a postcard to our friends back in Mass. "Sunny and warm here in Florida! Wish you were here!" Ha! They'd love that!

A mosquito buzzes in Charlotte's ear.

The girls: "Dear friends, Our father has taken us into a swamp. We might die of exposure. We're losing energy and hope. The mosquitoes are sucking us dry. And we're gonna get eaten by a freakin' alligator."

Dad: "Love, you ol' sun-kissed pals!" They'll love it!

2 thoughts on “12. Greetings from Florida”

Dawn Marie says:

September 20, 2020 at 10:01 am

Hysterical! Hope they got out alive! Giggles.

Reply
becomingcliche says:

September 28, 2020 at 3:12 pm

I did the same thing at that age. Kids in heat and humidity with a FREAKIN’ ALLIGATOR OVER THERE don’t fare well.

Reply

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