29. The Dirtiest Thing of All

February 15, 2021February 15, 2021 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 9 Comments

Thank you for reading all these years! It was so fun to make these comics, and I appreciate all the comments and memories shared.

25. Don’t Look Now

January 22, 2021January 1, 2021 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 3 Comments

19. Ghost Bait

November 14, 2020November 7, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ Leave a comment

Charlotte prepares a favorite snack: whipped cream on saltines.

Charlotte carries the tray of crackers to the TV room

Charlotte places the tray in front of the TV

Charlotte puts a cracker on top of the VCR, where she had her last "ghost encounter"

Charlotte watches intently.

Charlotte eats her snack as she watches and waits.

Charlotte: I knw you're here. Just give me a sign.

Charlotte waits and watches.

Charlotte stares at the TV

and sees a ghostly figure out of the corner of her eye

Charlotte screams and covers her eyes

The white curtains billow

Chrissy steps out from behind the curtain and knocks off the snack.

From behind the curtain, Chrissy says "Grooooooooooosssssss...."

Charlotte peeks out from behind her hands.

The saltine crackers is a mess on the floor.

Charlotte screams and runs from the room.

13. Halloween

September 26, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ Leave a comment

The girls are in their costumes, ready to trick-or-treat.

Chrissy: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I am so excited! A girl at school told me our neighborhood has the best candy.

Charlotte: Wew, duyuh no wha a guh ah shuhl tollme?

Chrissy: Huh?

Charlotte removes her plastic vampire teeth.

Charlotte: Do you know what a girl at school told ME?

Ashley: No, what?

Charlotte: Our house is haunted!

The girls look shocked, imitating Ashley's Scream mask.

Chrissy: What exactly did she say?

Charlotte: It's haunted by the ghost of a little boy who lived there a long time ago. The house was vacant for years after he died, but people could sometimes see a shadowy figure looking out the window...

Ashley: How sad!

Chrissy: Oooo, I bet our room used to be his!

Charlotte: Halloween is when it's supposed to be easiest to talk to spirits...

Nicki: Don't be silly. There's no such thing as ghosts.

Some girls: Hey, Nicki, are you ready?

The sisters look shocked again.

Nicki: Yes! I'll be right there!

Nicki: I wasn't sure if they really meant it! ...Um, I'll see you guys later, okay?

Chrissy: What? Since when does she have friends?

Ashley, Chrissy, Charlotte and Tess continue to trick-or-treat.

Charlotte: You know, I don't really feel good... I think I better go home. You guys go on without me.

Chrissy: WHAT?! First Nicki, now you... what is going on tonight!

Chrissy looks suspicious.

Charlotte heads to the house alone.

Charlotte opens the door in the darkened house.

Charlotte steels herself.

Charlotte: Hello? Little ghost? Are you there? Can you hear me?

Charlotte waits.

KNOCK

Charlotte's eyes open wide.

Charlotte: H-h-h-hello?

Loud knocking continues through the hallway.

The knocking seems to be coming from Charlotte and Chrissy's bedroom.

A suspiciously Chrissy-shaped shadow knocks at the window in the bedroom.

Charlotte's hair stands on end.

BAM!

Charlotte: THE GHOST!

Nicki: Oh, sorry Charlotte. I didn't know you were there!

Charlotte turns on the light. Nicki is covered in raw eggs and toilet paper. "Nicki! Oh, no! What happened?"

Nicki: I don't want to talk about it. I just..."

Nicki screams: I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT!

Charlotte stares sadly after Nicki as she leaves.

Chrissy throws open the front door shouting BOO!

Charlotte startles.

Chrissy laughs madly.

12. Greetings from Florida

September 19, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

Dad and the girls are in a canoe in a swamp.
Dad: Isn't this fun?

Nicki: Daddy, it's hot.
Charlotte: The bugs keep biting me.

Ashley: My arms are tired.
Chrissy: There is a freaking alligator over there!

Alligator

Dad: Can you believe it's October? Wouldn't we doing this in Massachusetts this time of year, would we?

Ashley: My arms are going to fall off.
Nicki: Daddy, I'm getting a sunburn.
Charlotte: It's so itchy!
Chrissy: It's probably going to eat us all for dinner!

Dad: We ought to send a postcard to our friends back in Mass. "Sunny and warm here in Florida! Wish you were here!" Ha! They'd love that!

A mosquito buzzes in Charlotte's ear.

The girls: "Dear friends, Our father has taken us into a swamp. We might die of exposure. We're losing energy and hope. The mosquitoes are sucking us dry. And we're gonna get eaten by a freakin' alligator."

Dad: "Love, you ol' sun-kissed pals!" They'll love it!

11. Getting Crabby

September 12, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 2 Comments

The girls are inside, playing Boggle in the living room.

SCRITCH

Nicki: Did you hear that?

Chrissy: Shhh! Stop trying to break my concentration.

Nicki: No, I'm serious. It sounds like something's at the door...

The girls all listen.

SCRITCH SCRITCH

Ashley jumps up. "Oh, maybe it's a little lost puppy!"

Chrissy: NO! Don't open it! It's probably a giant cockroach!

Mom: Palmetto bug!

Ashley opens the door, her eyes popping out of her head.

The rest of the girls peek through the doorway behind her.

A large blue land crab sits on the welcome mat, waving its claws aggressively.

The girls slam the door closed.

The girls stand on the couch, screaming.

Mom: What NOW?

The girls point at the front door.

Mom looks annoyed.

Mom opens the front door.

The crab is still there. And the front yard is crawling with more land crabs.

Mom slams the door closed.

Mom takes a deep breath at the doorway.

The girls peer up at Mom.

Chrissy: WELL?

Mom: Take the broom if you're going to go outside.

The girls looks dubious/sad as they realize this is their new Florida life.

6. New Everythings

August 10, 2020 ~ Nicole Smeltzer ~ 7 Comments

The family sits at the table eating dinner. Mom and Dad look content. The children look astonished.

Chrissy: But WHY are we moving?

Dad: Because I got a new job.

Nicki: ...but why?

Dad: It's a better opportunity

Ashley: but why Florida?

Mom, winking and ruffling Ashley's hair: You'll love it!

Charlotte: But what about.... everything?

Fuzzy collage of memories from living in Massachusetts

Dad: You'll make new everythings.

The girls eat their dinner glumly. Chrissy looks thoughtful and plotting.

Chrissy: The new house will be bigger, right?

Dad: Yup!

Chrissy: So will I get my own room?!

Dad: I'm afraid not. The new house will have 4 bedrooms.

Chrissy does math in her head.

Chrissy: But that's enough! You and Mom will share a room. Then the 2 oldest and the 2 youngest will each share a room; that's fair. And then I get my own!

Dad: Nooooo....

Chrissy: That's not fair! Why does Nicki get her own room? She always gets everything!

Dad: No, not Nicki. The baby will get her own room.

Chrissy: Tess. Tess gets her own room. Are you kidding me?

Dad: Trust me, NO ONE wants to share a room with a baby, least of all me. This move can't come soon enough.

The family returns to their dinner. Chrissy sticks her tongue out at Tess from across the table. Tess blissfully, messily eats her spaghetti.

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